sick and tired...

I am so sick and tired.. How I wish tomorrow is an end.. God is always testing us as we moving into a new generation and to the last day when Christ will be coming back to us. I feel that I don't want to post my status on facebook already.. It's time to change my postings and comments to my blog.. A more hidden place online where not so many people know about my blog.. I always feel so strong.. Recently really am very weak already.. I cried for the past 2days and I believed that I will still be crying today and tomorrow till the day when I'm totally healed by the power of God.. I feel that I got no friends.. So many friends who are real in reality don't really have the time to care.. Actually what I need is to have a person who is physically there to listen, to hug and to cry out to.. Last time I did have the special someone in human, but ever since there are some changes to his life (whereby he got a gf) I feel that it's hard for me to communicate with him.. I really feel very troubled and sick.. I am so tired.. Very very tired.. No motivation to move on.. But always God is asking me to breathe on for his purpose for me.. Today I didn't go for work is because I am so tired.. I knew I need some time off.. Just for sometimes.. I need a break and rest.. :( I need to do something to change the situation.. I wanna do God's will and see His miracle to come.. But I know that the time will be soon.. But I hope that God will just provide me His great and mighty financial as so to go and study the School of Theology.. So that I can apply what I have learned in the bible to move on and be strong in depending on God alone.. It is really good to think back of how I can get my popularity..:) hahaha.. I'm always unique.. I want to get into as many ground as possible.. As many countries as possible.. I want to move into greater heights to serve.. Many things I'm learning.. Well my primary calling is for God.. And I need to know my stand clear.. The reason why I'm still in need of learning who God because I always will forget who He really is.. God is so kind to me.. And He always encourages me with His everything.. I'm so weak, yet He always reminded me that He is always strong and will be always there for me.. I just need His guide.. To an eternal peace and Love of His.. I need to know God more.. I need to love Him more.. He has used many ways to touch my heart and I am very happy for that.. I need to build a career out of His will and not of my own.. Every situations He letting me experience is because He want me to learn His deeper love.. I am willing God, use me O Lord.. God will lead me under His examples.. I will need to move on very soon.. So that I will not forget Him as my beloved Heavenly Father, Comforter and as Friend.. I need to be more wise and lead others also by examples.. I'm still learning and I believe that soon I can teach.. It will be really soon!!:) Well, God bless all!!:D





To Be Continued...:)